


Something Shiny and New

by Ramblingandpie



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Companionable Snark, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Heist, Kleptomania
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23223103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ramblingandpie/pseuds/Ramblingandpie
Summary: Kasumi has persuaded Miranda to help her acquire some resources... and maybe a few other things along the way.
Relationships: Kasumi Goto/Miranda Lawson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 22
Collections: Spectre Requisitions 2020





	Something Shiny and New

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alivelesbian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alivelesbian/gifts).



Miranda took one last look in the mirror. The gold dress fit flawlessly, of course. Carefully hidden stretch panels and pleats in the skirt assured that it didn’t impede her movement in any way. She didn’t have any weapons, but her biotic amp and omni-tool were well-hidden by some large but tasteful jewelry. She was no stranger to running in heels.

Still. She cocked an eyebrow at the hooded figure who sat perched on the bathroom countertop.

“It’s perfect,” Kasumi said. “All eyes will be on you.”

“I’d be amazed if anyone makes eye contact,” Miranda said dryly.

“Even better. One of these days, I should teach you the basics of pickpocketing. You’d be a pro in no time.”

“You say that as though I have anywhere to put things. This handbag holds nothing.”

“Not true. It held your lipstick.”

Miranda rolled her eyes and held out her hand. Kasumi gave her the lipstick back. Miranda unclipped her purse, put the lipstick back, and said “Shall we, then?”

“Let’s!” came the excited reply. Kasumi was invisible before her feet touched the floor.

There were times Miranda would kill for that kind of cloaking technology.

When they reached the reception room, she introduced herself impatiently with the false name that Kasumi had provided. She paused at the security checkpoints until she felt the ping on her wrist from her omni-tool that indicated Kasumi had moved past her. Those parts were easy. She could rehearse those steps in her head and prepare.

The next part?

Thank goodness for champagne. She snagged a glass from one of the waiters walking by. She made her way over to a large aquarium, and stood with her back to it as she scanned the room for the first target.

“There,” she heard Kasumi whisper in her ear. “By the fondue fountain. With the green tie. You look fabulous, by the way. Definitely best-dressed, if I was giving out awards.” The line went silent for a moment before Kasumi added, “I should give out awards at these things.”

Miranda weaved her way through the crowd to the fondue fountain, which drizzled waves of melted chocolate over an elaborate series of cascading pools.

“Do you think Shepard would let us install one on the Normandy?” Kasumi whispered into Miranda’s ear.

Miranda rolled her eyes, then looked over the options. After weeks of eating only the types of foods that kept well on starships, a small part of her wanted to grab all of it and run. Instead, she selected a kebab that had alternating deep red strawberries with cubes of pineapple. And a napkin, just in case.

Next, the tricky part.

She approached the fountain, and held the stick at a few different angles, trying to determine the best way to maximize the amount of chocolate she got while making sure not to splash any.

“First time?” a voice asked. She looked up and there he was. “Excellent selection.” He gestured at her kebab.

She smirked and hoped it came across as coy. “I don’t want to make a mess.”

“Allow me,” he said. She handed him the kebab, and he reached over and rolled it in one of the waves of chocolate. Then, he turned it over several times over one of the pools so the excess dripped off.

Miranda did her best not to think about proper food sanitation techniques.

“We use a special formula so that the chocolate hardens when it’s not flowing or in the heated fountain. See?” He handed her the kebab, and, true to his word, the chocolate was no longer dripping.

“Why thank you,” she said, thankful that at least he had only touched the stick.

“Go ahead,” he said.

She took a bite. She closed her eyes and sighed as she savored it. She opened them, and then quickly closed them again so she wouldn’t look at the ever-so-slight shimmer standing behind him.

“That is scrumptious. And you said you made it?”

He grinned. She thought this would be the difficult part, but it turned out that she didn’t need to do much. She simply gave him an opening to talk about himself.

After about a minute, she heard the whisper in her ear. “Got it.”

Now the more difficult part. She smiled and nodded as he waxed philosophically about searching for the perfect planet on which to grow cacao trees.

“I said I got it.”

“That is fascinating,” Miranda cut in when he was taking a breath. “If you’ll excuse me, though. I do need to get a refill.” She held up her empty champagne glass.

“Oh, allow me,” he said, and waved over one of the waiters walking around with trays. Miranda stifled the urge to destroy him.

“And use the ladies’ room.”

“Ah. That I cannot help you with.”

She took a deep breath as soon as she had managed to get out of sight. Fortunately, there were enough people that she didn’t have to go too far.

Kasumi materialized when she was safely in the bathroom.

“Individual rooms. Fancy,” she observed.

“You so owe me for this,” Miranda muttered.

Kasumi grinned. “Oh, you know I’m good for it. Besides, it’s good for you to practice. He turned out to be an easy mark. Your body language was screaming that you weren’t interested in the conversation. And trust me, I know when your body says you are interested in something.” She gave a teasing shimmy in Miranda’s direction.

Miranda rolled her eyes. “Please tell me you’ve figured out our next step?”

“Of course. While you were eating - which, by the way, I will point out that I didn’t get to have any - I scanned for possible routes. Do you think you can crawl through some vents in that dress? I kid. If we go through the laundry room, we should be fine.”

\--

“Fine, you said.”

“Should be fine, I said.”

Miranda rubbed her forehead. “Did you have a plan for this?”

“Let me do a thorough scan.”

Miranda looked around. The control panel of the elevator was flashing red as Kasumi scanned it. “What about the escape hatch?” She pointed to the ceiling.

Kasumi shook her head. “Locked when the security alarm went off. Isn’t this exciting?” She turned to Miranda and grinned.

Miranda sighed. “I’ll be happy to let you relive it over cocktails later, assuming we escape. What are our options?”

Kasumi shrugged. “Well, we’re not going to be able to get either of the doors open. We could wait for them to come get us and try to fight our way out without any weapons at all. Or…” she grinned again.

“Or what?” Miranda asked.

“We could drop it.”

“We’re over 100 floors up.”

“Oh, that’s nothing. These elevators have enough safety breaks that we’ll only go a dozen or so and skid to a halt. We can deal with it then. Let me take a look.” Kasumi’s omni-tool flashed and buzzed through different options as she held her hand up to the control panel.

The banging started. “They’re in here!” came a muffled voice from outside the elevator.

“Kasumi. Please tell me you’re making progress.”

“Maybe.”

Miranda looked back and forth between the doors and Kasumi.

“Owch!” Kasumi yelped. “The bugger shocked me.”

“Put your weapons down! We’re opening the doors!” came a different voice.

Miranda sighed. She raised her right arm, and felt the tingle of the mass effect fields as she began to manipulate them with her hand. She brought her arm down quickly, and then dove over Kasumi to bring them both to the floor.

There was a loud bang as the ceiling of the elevator crumpled, throwing shards of mirrored glass onto the biotic barrier Miranda had hastily thrown up around the two of them.

Then the weightlessness as the elevator, no longer connected to the upper cable, plunged down.

Kasumi howled with laughter.

\--

“So, I understand that I owe you now?” Kasumi said, smiling, as she wiggled in closer.

They sat in the port observation deck, which Kasumi had turned into her own cove of treasures. Miranda had her right arm draped over Kasumi’s shoulders.

“I believe I did say that, yes.”

“You did. I was there.”

Kasumi turned to face Miranda and grinned. “So. Money? Jewels? I picked up quite a few of each.” With several grand flourishes, she dropped three credit chips, an ostentatious diamond ring, two watches, and a brilliantly sparkling necklace, gold with several dozen emeralds inlaid, into Miranda’s lap. “This, I think, would look absolutely stunning on you.” She disentangled herself and lifted the necklace. Within the blink of an eye, she had fastened it around Miranda’s neck.

“I was right,” Kasumi said. “I have excellent taste.” She kept her hands resting on Miranda’s neck, and then traced one collarbone. “Unless you had something else in mind?”

Miranda sighed and grinned. “You have the oddest sense of foreplay.”

Kasumi shrugged. “It doesn’t always have to end in explosions. But I do so like to have something shiny and new to play with. If we can combine it with stealing industry secrets that can go on to help millions have access to food, well,” she said, eyeing the disc she’d picked up from their first target, “a girl can multitask.”

“Such a philanthropist.”

“What can I say,” Kasumi said. “I love to give.”


End file.
